We asked 1,000 People ‘What would you least like to find in your garden?’
Us Brits are famously proud of our gardens, but what could possibly be the worst thing to discover in your beloved oasis? In order to find out, we used Google consumer surveys to ask 1,000 people in the UK: ‘What would you least like to find in your garden?’
Men and women of all ages, from across England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, provided us with answers, and the results were great!
According to the results, the main thing you don’t want to find in your back garden are slugs. 12% of respondents are clearly budding gardeners and don’t want these slimy intruders eating their plants. This is compared to a much lower 2.8% of respondents that answered snails. There seems to be some favouritism amongst these pests! Along with slugs and snails, 5% of you don’t want weeds in your back garden.
On a much darker note, 2.8% of you said that you don’t want to find a dead body in your back garden. Seems they’ve been watching too much Time Team or Shaun of the Dead! 2.2% of respondents also stated that they don’t want to find a literal intruder or burglar in their garden.
The Top 10 Answers
According to the results, the main thing you don’t want to find in your back garden are slugs. 12% of respondents are clearly budding gardeners and don’t want these slimy intruders eating their plants. This is compared to a much lower 2.8% of respondents that answered snails. There seems to be some favouritism amongst these pests! Along with slugs and snails, 5% of you don’t want weeds in your back garden.
On a much darker note, 2.8% of you said that you don’t want to find a dead body in your back garden. Seems they’ve been watching too much Time Team or Shaun of the Dead! 2.2% of respondents also stated that they don’t want to find a literal intruder or burglar in their garden.
The Best of the Rest
We also received some unconventional answers that we found quite brilliant and typical of Brit humour.Politicians
It seems that people want politicians to stay out of their shrubbery, with Tony Blair, David Cameron, Ed Miliband, David Miliband, Iain Duncan Smith and Barack Obama all receiving mentions. Some didn’t even specify which politician, simply answering ‘a tory’!Garden Celebrities
We don’t really know why some people wouldn’t like to see Bill Oddie or Alan Titchmarsh in their garden; surely they’d be the best celebrities to find! Not wanting to find Piers Morgan, Johnny Depp or the Kardashians is a bit more understandable. A surprising amount of people really didn’t like the thought of gnomes turning up in their garden, with one even replying with ‘a gnome infestation’. Admittedly, that is a fairly terrifying thought. Pop stars might illuminate the music charts, but they don’t appear to be popular garden additions, with some respondents saying they would least like to find Justin Bieber, One Direction or Simon Cowell in their back yard.Personal Answers
Some respondents took their more personal angle to the replies:- Ex husband
- Ex wife
- My ex
- My ex-mother in law
- My brother
- A plant (my garden is paved over)
Monster Gardens
We guess that a plant sprouting through your paved garden would be slightly annoying. Probably not as alarming as these answers, however:- Godzilla
- Loch Ness Monster
- Armed police
- A clown
- A dinosaur
- The spawn of Satan